Remember when we scoffed at those coloring worksheets as “busywork”? Then we tried wrangling our own offspring… The pandemic lockdown didn’t just reveal our shocking ignorance of basic fractions; it transformed parents into unlikely heroes and martyrs to the cause of child-centered learning. Crustian Satirical Daily News (CSDN) honors their sacrifice:
Before: Judgy Side-Eye & Unsolicited Advice
Ah, our former selves, filled with opinions about ‘creative lesson plans’ and how, obviously, we’d handle things way better than underappreciated Mr. Johnson in third grade…
After: Caffeine-Fueled Chaos & Existential Dread
Suddenly, ‘kitchen table homeschool’ became our reality. Cue: Explaining long division through tears (ours), deciphering what exactly ‘constructivism’ entails, and discovering our kids may be feral when not in classroom settings.
Unforgettable Homeschooling Fails
The flour-and-glitter volcano eruptING INDOORS. That Zoom class when we forgot to mute and, well…let’s just say nobody needs to hear Mommy’s stressed-out private vocabulary. And don’t get us started on the ‘alternative’ interpretations of historical timelines presented during ‘social studies’…
Teachers: Now Our Semi-Divine Superheroes
Each dropped-off homework packet felt like a sacred gift. Suddenly, those professionals who not only educate but manage to keep an entire class alive? Demigods. Do they get special mind-control powers with their teaching certificates? HOW can they make fractions seem…dare we say…fun?
The Great Appreciation
Sure, homeschooling created minor breakdowns (again, ours). But also, grudging respect. Turns out, teaching is less about worksheets, more about the alchemy of patience, caffeine, and knowing precisely when to deploy those well-timed bribes. Maybe we owe educators more than Nobel Prizes – perhaps also hazard pay and regular spa days?
Be First to Comment