Beverage Giants Suggest New Drinking Game: Take a Shot Every Time Prices Rise

In a move that’s either a stroke of twisted marketing genius or a sign of the rapidly approaching apocalypse, beverage giants have unveiled a disturbing new drinking game: “Take a Shot Every Time Prices Rise.” This audacious strategy aims to capitalize on widespread economic misery in a way that would make even the most cynical ad executive blush.

“Tired of crying about inflation?” asks a slickly produced online ad featuring remarkably cheerful people clinking glasses. “Drown your sorrows in a socially acceptable way! It’s the perfect game for every grocery run, gas station fill-up, or moment of existential dread while browsing your online bank statement.”

The game comes with a handy app that tracks real-time price fluctuations in essential goods. Each time the price of eggs goes up a cent, or a gallon of milk makes you question a career in highway robbery, it’s time for another shot!

Naturally, public health experts are less than thrilled. “Combining financial ruin with the potential for alcohol poisoning is not the stress-relief strategy we recommend,” stated a concerned physician, clutching a tattered copy of their medical oath. “This could lead to a surge in both emergency room visits and crippling debt.”

Social media has erupted with a mix of outrage and desperate gallows humor. “Finally! A drinking game I can afford to lose!” quipped one user. While another remarked, “Pretty sure my liver will file for bankruptcy before my actual bank account does.”

Some speculate the game is an elaborate ploy by Big Alcohol to increase profits while masking the true cost of their products. Conspiracy theorists point to a leaked memo suggesting a partnership between liquor companies and rehab centers, ensuring a steady stream of customers cycling through despair and recovery.

CSDN advises steering clear of this ill-conceived game. While the idea of numbing your economic anxieties may be briefly tempting, remember that financial instability and liver damage are a truly terrible combination. Instead, opt for healthier coping mechanisms like stress-baking, primal screaming in remote locations, or searching for loose change in the couch cushions.