Big Oil Celebrates Record Profits by Hosting ‘Inflation Themed’ Gala


Oil executives celebrated their record-breaking profits by throwing a lavish, “Inflation-Themed” Gala. The event, described as a cross between Marie Antoinette’s decadent birthday party and scenes from “The Hunger Games,” sparked widespread outrage and a surge in guillotine-related Google searches.

The gala venue was transformed into a grotesque wonderland of economic disparity. Guests arrived in gold-plated limousines, stepping onto red carpets lined with shredded dollar bills. Waitstaff, dressed in tattered peasant garb, served appetizers of caviar atop stale crackers, while guests clinked crystal champagne flutes filled with vintage gasoline.

“We wanted to truly capture the essence of economic inequality,” explained an oil tycoon, a twinkle in his eye as he admired the centerpiece– an ice sculpture of a melting piggy bank. “It’s about celebrating our success during these…difficult times for everyone else.”

The entertainment ranged from disturbingly accurate re-enactments of frenzied shoppers brawling over toilet paper to a live auction of “slightly-dented” yachts, where bidding started at the price of a small nation’s GDP.

Party favors included commemorative gold coins emblazoned with the phrase “Let them eat cake mix!” and coupons for “Buy One Gas Tank, Get One Free (tax not included, fees apply, must sacrifice firstborn as collateral).”

News of the gala ignited a firestorm of backlash. Protesters gathered outside the venue, brandishing signs with slogans like “Eat the Rich” and “Can We Borrow Some Fuel Money?”. Social media exploded with memes depicting out-of-touch oil executives lighting cigars with burning hundred-dollar bills.

Even some politicians, usually staunch defenders of Big Oil, felt compelled to voice their disapproval. “Perhaps a themed gala celebrating unchecked greed during a national financial crisis wasn’t the most optically-sound idea,” stated a mildly concerned senator, adjusting his suspiciously expensive-looking watch.

CSDN advises anyone invited to similar fetes in the future to politely decline the invitation and perhaps re-evaluate their social circle. Remember, sometimes the most luxurious statement you can make is not being a walking, talking symbol of societal decay.

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