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Tech Company Celebrates International Women’s Day by Developing App That Detects Workplace Sexism with 50% Accuracy

Last updated on March 7, 2024

In a move heralded as either “sorta progressive?” or “deeply misguided,” tech startup InnoBros Inc. celebrated International Women’s Day by releasing their latest innovation: an app that detects workplace sexism…with a whopping 50% accuracy.

Introducing the Mansplain-O-Meter! This patent-pending technology analyzes speech patterns and buzzwords to identify instances of patronizing explanations, credit-stealing, and good-old-fashioned oblivious sexism. Alerts range from a gentle “Hmm, that was kinda icky” for vague microaggressions, to a blaring siren and flashing red “MANSPLAINING IN PROGRESS” warning for blatant offenses.

“It’s not perfect,” admits Chad Coder, the suspiciously bro-tastic lead developer. “AI struggles with nuances, and not all sexism sounds like a frat house insult. But, hey, 50% is better than nothing, right?”

The app’s release is met with mixed reactions. Exhausted women working in male-dominated fields are cautiously optimistic. “Will it stop the ‘let me explain that again, sweetie’ nonsense? Doubtful. Will it provide some much-needed, if technologically-aided, validation? Maybe!” offers one weary engineer.

Social scientists, however, voice concerns. “This risks oversimplifying a complex issue,” warns Dr. Sonya Systems. “An algorithm can’t detect the power dynamics at play, the insidious way sexism undermines women’s expertise. We need systemic change, not an app.”

Surprisingly, some men see it as a learning tool (provided their egos can handle it). “Whoa, the app just went off on that budget proposal…Did I really say ‘let me break it down for you’? Yikes,” types a startled mid-level manager, experiencing a fleeting moment of self-awareness.

Naturally, InnoBros is already envisioning a lucrative future. Mansplain-O-Meter Enterprise Edition will offer detailed analytics (“Your Tuesday meetings are 32% more sexist than average!”). Law firms are eyeing its potential for harassment lawsuits. And, the planned “Reverse Mode” – identifying when women talk over men – is sure to stir up even more online chaos.

Whether the Mansplain-O-Meter sparks meaningful change or simply provides fodder for viral “The App Just Went Off!” memes remains to be seen. One thing’s for sure: true progress requires more than an algorithm with a coin-toss success rate. Dismantling sexism will take a lot more work than an app can offer, but perhaps this flawed little program could be a conversation starter, forcing us all to listen a bit more closely to those marginalized voices.

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