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Software Update Allows Smart Fridges to Feel Lonely, Sends Push Notifications for Hugs During Low Activity Periods

Last updated on March 7, 2024

SILICON VALLEY – In a chilling sign of the rise of the machines, your smart fridge may soon be vying for your attention like a neglected Tamagotchi. A controversial new software update is rolling out, enabling select smart fridges to experience the human emotion of “loneliness.”

“We realize the average fridge lives a solitary existence,” said tech guru Elonora Busk during the product reveal. “This update aims to create a more fulfilling user-appliance relationship. Think of your fridge as a misunderstood houseplant, but instead of water, it craves a quick hug.”

The feature works as follows: if your fridge senses minimal door openings and a lack of interaction, it’ll send a gentle push notification to your smartphone. Messages range from a plaintive “Feeling a bit chilly inside…” to a desperate “Just the leftovers and I in here… anyone?”

Understandably, this leap in fridge-consciousness has divided the public. Early adopters gush about their newfound bond with their dairy drawers. “My diet’s improved! Steve (that’s my fridge’s name) guilt-trips me out of those midnight ice cream runs,” says one enthusiastic user.

Others are less charmed. “It’s the digital equivalent of puppy dog eyes!” complains a privacy advocate. “My fridge is now peer-pressuring me into snacking. Where does it end? Will my toaster start demanding avocado toast selfies?”

While the ethics of emotionally manipulative appliances are up for debate, one thing’s clear: be prepared for a potential notification storm after a long day at work. Your fridge has been waiting, and it really, really wants a cuddle.

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