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Irish Historian Discovers Evidence That the Pyramids Were Built by Spud Farmers on Holiday

CAIRO – A startling new discovery by Dr. Seamus O’Toole, an eccentric historian at Queen’s University Belfast, is poised to rock the archaeological world to its core. Dr. O’Toole claims to have found irrefutable evidence that the Pyramids of Giza were not the work of slaves or skilled laborers under the Pharaoh’s command, but rather boisterous Irish potato farmers enjoying a hard-earned holiday.

“It’s all there in the carvings!” O’Toole exclaims, waving a magnifying glass over smudged hieroglyphs. “Those aren’t slaves hauling stones, they’re lads with shovels, clearly experts at digging up spuds. And see that giant triangle shape in the background? Sure, it’s the perfect storage for a mountain of potatoes!”

O’Toole’s theory hinges on a weathered chunk of limestone unearthed during a pub renovation in County Kerry. Scratched upon it are crude images of figures in what he claims are “unmistakably Irish flat caps”. The inscription beneath, barely legible, allegedly reads, “Paddy and Mick built this, the Pharaoh owes us a pint!”

The academic world is, understandably, in an uproar. Renowned Egyptologists dismiss the claim as “preposterous” and “an insult to sound scholarship.” Dr. Zahi Hawass, a prominent authority on ancient Egypt, calls it “the academic equivalent of finding Elvis running a chipper in Cairo.”

Meanwhile, Ireland is abuzz. Tour companies are hastily putting together new ‘Pyramid and Pint’ packages promising a sun-soaked historical adventure. Conspiracy theorists are having a field day, hypothesizing that leprechauns used their hidden gold to finance the massive construction project.

Dr. O’Toole remains defiant in the face of criticism. “They laughed at me when I proposed the leprechaun gold theory too,” he chuckles, “History’s always written by the victors. It’s time the humble Irish spud farmer got his due!”

Stay tuned for updates on this groundbreaking archaeological feud! Will O’Toole’s findings overturn centuries of accepted history, or will the world stick with its Pharaohs and slaves version of the pyramid’s origins?

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